Don't look this bitch in the eye.

Clash of the Titans

I totally understand why Hollywood felt the need to remake Clash of the Titans. It's an epic story which could benefit from updated special effects. But the remake is just...crap. Crap, crap, crap.

One problem I had is with Sam Worthington as Perseus. Yes he's foxy, comparable to a young Harry Hamlin. But the hair. Why would his hair be buzzed? All the other Greek characters have long, gorgeous, thick and braided hair. I get that they are trying to make Perseus stand out from all the other characters (he's the hero and a demi-god after all) but the hair is a huge problem. It doesn't make sense with the time period and Worthington is much more attractive with long hair. The proof is in Avatar.

Furthermore, Worthington's acting leaves lots to be desired. He's a very grunty hero, doesn't connect too much with the audience. At least Hamlin was slightly broody and put some emotion into the role. Worthington just pouts a bit, mostly grunts, and runs around. Even his growing love story with Io, the replacement for Bubo the owl, seemed forced and unnatural on his part. I know my opinion matters so much to Sam Worthington, but he really needs to prove himself to me. Action stars can make decent actors (hello Bruce Willis). I read reviews of Last Night, Worthington's upcoming relationship drama and critics weren't fawning over his performance.

The special effects were lackluster is my eyes. The scorpians are big and intimidating, but they look so fake. In the original, they looked much more real. Caron is all special effects; he looks like a cross between a tree and a skeleton. Big deal. Being a cloaked ferryman is far more intimidating, like in the original. We get few glimpses of him and all we see is creepy, lifelike bone. In Caron's case, less is more. And Medusa. She looks far more like a woman in the remake, which adds a humanistic touch but the audience doesn't need that with Medusa. She's a means to an end. Making her all reptile-esque like the original brought the scares better in my opinion. The one special effects improvement I saw was the Kraken. Much more intimidating with all the CGI. Those teeth, so sharp, so scary!

The story and writing was a bit of a disappointment in my eyes. Perseus and Pegasus meet for about five seconds and then the work together; no relationship development. Andromeda, totally useless. Yeah, she's a sacrifice and all, but no love story between her and Perseus. And I would've liked a little more focus on the other Gods.

I did enjoy seeing some fine actors making use of bad material. Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes had good chemistry and Zeus and Hades. And I did like the inclusion of Hades in this remake. Mads Mikkelson did fine as Draco, a mentor and fellow warrior to Perseus. Finally, it's nice to see Hans Matheson getting work in a big project, even if his character did get turned into stone by Medusa.

Maybe it's because I grew up loving the original and nothing will ever replace it in my heart. But this remake was a serious disappointment.


Michael C. Hall as Dexter

Dexter returns tonight! I'm so excited, I love this show. I don't love it just for the compelling story of a serial killer but for Michael C. Hall's performance in the titular role. He can play any emotion he's given and any situation he's in. He completely inhabits the role from the outside and in, as evident through Hall's excellent voice over work. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the day he wins his Emmy.

Netflix

Me and Orson Wells-I have faith that Zac Efron is more than a pretty face.
A Single Man-A must see for a second time.
The Thin Red Line-Netflix Instant. Can't go wrong with Terrence Malik.

Once you have signed up to terror, your mind closes right down. It becomes only our story that matters, not their story.

Five Minutes of Heaven

A powerful and thrilling meditation on revenge and redemption, Five Minutes of Heaven tells the story of Alistair Little, a former UVF member who killed Joe Griffen's brother. Twenty-five years later, the media arrange a reunion between the two changed men.

Five Minutes of Heaven looks at the difficulty of forgiveness and letting go, and how hate and regret can come together and be resolved. This is all portrayed in the fabulous performances by Liam Neeson as Little and James Nesbitt as Griffen. Neeson, brilliant as always, uses physicality and voice to portray his regret. His hands shake, his eyes droop down, his body and face scream sad. But he will not physically be at the mercy of Griffen. Despite his regret, Neeson carries Little as a strong man who has been through hell but wants to live. Similarly, Nesbitt gives a superb performance that relies heavily on physicality and voice. Lots of twitching, shouting, and nervous ticks color Joe Griffen through James Nesbitt. I haven't seen Nesbitt in much, but he did make an impression on me in his small but important role as a detective in Match Point.

This quiet, nearly scoreless movie creates ample tension through the performances and the direction. Tight shots follow Griffen as he descends towards Little. Griffen contemplates killing Little much in the way young Little contemplated going through with the murder twenty-five years ago. The two men mirror each other in an almost creepy way. The film is very intimate, like one is eavesdropping or watching from a distance all this go down. Five Minutes of Heaven's writing and shots reminded me of a Patrick Marber (Closer, Notes on a Scandal) script. As a viewer, one feels as if they are intruding and could interrupt a crucial moment at any second.

This film ponders whether enemies can become friends, media exploitation of grief and misery, is it possible to truly forgive and the power of redemption. Those are some pretty serious themes to deal with in a ninety-nine minute movie. Five Minutes of Heaven's length is its Achilles' heel. All the listed themes are vital to the film, so an extra thirty minutes might've been a good idea.

I highly recommend this film. Five Minutes of Heaven leaves a lasting impression.

Jane Lynch on Glee

This is one of the most obvious good performances I've written about. Lynch is fabulous as the hateful but sympathetic Sue Sylvester. Her humor is obvious and dry, simple and intelligent. Her height matches her big personality and she's one of the two, formerly three, reasons I continue to watch Glee. With all the TV I watch, I'd be easy for me to just forget a show that I wasn't enjoying as much anymore. But Lynch is hilarious and makes Glee more than bearable for me. I love her in all the Christopher Guest movies, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Arrested Development, etc. It's nice that I know her now as Jane Lynch and not "that funny, tall, blonde lady."

Netflix

My Wife is an Actress-I enjoy Charlotte Gainsbourg and I enjoy French cinema.
Temple Grandin-Well, it won all those Emmys.
This Is England-Netflix Instant. Keeps getting recommended to me.

You think I want to sell stolen wheelchairs for the rest of my life?

Date Night

Date Night is a comedy about a married couple looking to have a little fun but end up being chased around New York City by mobsters and crooked cops due to a mistaken identity. The film, with a fairly predictable plot and decent jokes, is given all its magic through the king and queen of TV comedy, Steve Carrell and Tina Fey.

Carrell and Fey have their prestigious titles for a reason. They each have their own brand of awkward but intelligent humor that can be watered down or magnified to reach audiences of most ages and IQ levels. In Date Night, their humor is slightly dumbed down but hilarious none the less. They have wonderful, natural chemistry and easily slip into the role of a married couple, The Fosters, stuck in routines. But when this boring, normal, and believable couple are thrown into an extreme situation, the comedy sparks start flying.

But along with this comedy comes a heartwarming feeling. The Fosters are clearly in love, they've just lost each other a little bit. And they do not want to become what their newly separated friends became, "Really awesome roommates." Watching the Fosters run around in their extreme situation brings the laughs but seeing them work so well together as a couple brings the "awws." This shows that Carrell and Fey aren't just funny, but good actors as well.

The supporting cast also brings the laughs. Mila Kunis and James Franco make a hilarious appearance as a trashy couple with the answer to the Foster's problems. Mark Wahlburg's hotness is almost too much to handle and William Fitchner, yet again, shows that he can do anything, even pervy comedy.

Lots of couples go through sparkless ruts like the Fosters. Hopefully lots are lucky enough to get it back and rediscover each other.

Paul Rudd in Dinner for Schmucks

While this was an ensemble film with laughs from all actors, Paul Rudd stood out. His character, Tim, was a bit of an asshole, something we aren't used to seeing from Rudd. His character in the original French version is waaayy more of a dick, but Tim is an ass. It's nice to see Paul Rudd try to be more than a nice or cluelessly funny guy, and be believable at it. Though he has his nice guy moments and turns out to be a nice guy in the end, props to Rudd for trying something different.

Netflix

A Prophet-A supposedly brilliant French film.
The Ghost Writer-Regardless of who Polanski is as a person, he's a genius behind the camera.
The Young Victoria-Netflix Instant. I didn't wanna see this in theaters but I'll check it out since it's on Instant.